Being in control is over-rated.

Hello.  My name is Mama in Suburbia.  I am a stay-at-home mom and...I'm a control freak.

There.  I said it. 

Okay, in my defense...I'm not exactly a control freak.  I just like things done a certain way.  I like organization.  I like cleanliness.  I like order.  I don't like chaos. 

Hmmmm, on second thought, I'm not only a control freak...I'm an anal perfectionist.  Great!

You see, this isn't really a terrible thing.  Yeah okay, maybe it is.  But what makes it bad is that I am constantly at war with my I-need-to-be-in-control-also four year old.  Yes, it's the mommy/son battle for control.  Already.  I am sooo not looking forward to the teenager years. 

I am turning into one of those moms you see at the playground or at the store.  The ones who you try to avoid.  You know, the ones constantly yelling at their kids.  "Stop doing that."  "I told you to stop already."  "Don't play with that." And all he ever hears is "whaar, whaar, whaar, whaar, whaaar...." (just like Charlie Brown's teacher).  And the more I yell, the more defiant he gets.  He gets that crazy glimmer in his eyes, a devilish smile starts to form, and off he goes.  And off I go.  Yeah I know, I'm not the control freak.  He is. 

What I need to do is go have a couple of drinks breathe, before reacting.  Wooooo-saaaaaa.  Breathe and think before I overreact.  1. Is he in any danger?  2. Am I or anyone else in any danger?  3. Are sharp objects involved?  4. Will I regret this later on? Probably so, but it's okay.  If the answer is "no", let it be.  Seriously.  Kids will be kids.  They want to have fun.  They are going to test you.  So as long as there is no danger involved and no one gets hurt, I need to just take a chill pill.  Right?  Easier said than done...but I will try.  I don't want to be a screaming mom all the time.  It's annoying.  And it's exhausting.  I just need to let loose with the control once in awhile.  It's a give and take.  I let loose the reins a bit, he won't pull as hard.  Kinda like...walking a dog?  Or something like that.

It's no fun butting heads all the time.  This anal, perfectionist, control freak of a Mama will learn to let go a bit.  Once in a while.

Come to think of it, by doing so, I  might actually be gaining all the control.  Muahahahahah....