It's NOT just another Hallmark holiday...

Maybe it's me.  Maybe I'm just a thoughtful person.  Or maybe it's a female "thing".  But when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries, I feel that these are special days.  And special days need to be celebrated.  Right?

Well, yesterday was my birthday.  And as much as I hate to celebrate a day that reminds me that I'm another year older (much, much older), it's still a special day to me.  And call me selfish and self-centered if you'd like, but I think a birthday needs to be celebrated.  Just my opinion. 

So here's my 2 cents, for what it's worth.  Just some advice for all the boyfriends and husbands out there on celebrating your girlfriend or wife's birthday:

1.  Birthdays and anniversaries are not "Hallmark" holidays.  These are special occasions and deserve some special attention.  They're not like Veteran's Day or Columbus Day (not that those aren't important holidays).  And they're not "just another reason for Hallmark to make and sell a card".  You need to buy a card.  Preferably prior to that special day and not just stopping at CVS on the way to dinner so you can pick one up and scribble a note on it in the bathroom.  Plan ahead.

2.  Birthdays and anniversaries deserve a gift.  No matter what your girlfriend or wife says, you need to get her a gift.  Again I repeat, GET  A GIFT!  If you ask her what she wants, pay attention.  Even if she says she doesn't want anything...PAY ATTENTION!  GET A GIFT!  Notice I didn't say buy a gift.  If you're short on cash, you need not spend a lot of money or any money.  You can make her something too.  Write her a poem.  Not a literary genius?  Make her a jewelry box.  Not a handyman?  Give her an "IOU voucher" for a favor or a project that she's been wanting you to do.  You get my drift.  It's really the thought that counts.  I know, it's so cliche.  But it's true.  The fact that you thought enough of her to buy or make her something special...it means alot. 

If you're going to buy her something but don't know what to get, get her a gift card.  Some people think gift cards are thoughtless.  They're not.  Get her a gift card to her favorite store (hopefully you have some clue as to where that would be).  At least she can use it to buy something she likes.  Don't ever say, "I didn't get you anything because you said not to."  She was being nice when she said that, idiot!  And don't ever say, "You always return everything I get you, so I didn't get you anything."  Big mistake!  That's why you buy a gift card... 

3.  Flowers are nice.  Unless she's allergic to them.  But if not, buy her a nice bouquet.  Short on cash?  A single rose will do.  This will definitely earn you some bonus points.

4.  Don't forget about the kids.  If you have kids, get her something from them too.  Go pick out a card with them or have them make a card.  It really means alot.  She'll treasure it.  I know I would.

5.  Make dinner plans.  Either cook her a special dinner or make reservations.  She should not have to cook today.  To earn bonus points...make her breakfast.  In bed is preferable, but not a must.

6.  Get a cake.  We love dessert.  Don't collapse it with candles that remind her of her age.  One or two is enough.  Who doesn't love blowing out candles? 

And there you have it.  Not too hard, right?  It's totally doable.  Seriously, it doesn't matter how much she says she doesn't want to celebrate.  She does.  Who doesn't want to be treated extra special once in a while.  Trust me, just do it.  It'll make her happier... and your life easier in the long run.

It's the little things that matter

What's the secret to a happy marriage?  That must be one of the hottest topics for TV daytime talk shows and self-help books. 

But in reality, there is no secret.  It's actually quite simple.

The answer?

Empty out the dishwasher.

Steve Carrell once said on an episode of Ellen when she asked him what his secret for his marriage of 16 years to his wife was, "I empty out the dishwasher".  Bravo, Steve!

He said it is the little things you do in a marriage that make a difference.  Sure, giving your wife diamonds would be nice.  Uh huh, very nice.  But it's the simple things you offer to do that really shows her you love her.  For him, it's helping to empty out the dishwasher.  He goes on to say that his wife makes him coffee in the morning.  She gets the coffeemaker ready the night before and sets the timer.  And because he gets up and out of the house early before she does, his coffee is made and ready when he wakes up.  Something simple like that shows him that she loves him and is thinking about him.

You know what?  Steve is right.  He hit it right on the nail.

It's not the materialistic things that make a marriage (or any relationship) work.  It's the thought you put into doing a simple act that shows your significant other that "Hey, I'm thinking of you.  I'm going to do this for you so you won't have to."  Women are constantly complaining that their husbands don't take out the trash, don't help with the housework, don't put the toilet seat down...blah, blah, blah.  And guess what?  Most of them don't.  I know mine doesn't.  But it would mean alot if they did.  Men reading this right now are probably thinking....yea right, like my taking out the trash is gonna stop her from nagging at me all the time.  Uhhhh, you're right...it won't.  Well okay, it will for about 5 seconds.  But at least it's one less thing she'll have on her list to nag to you about.  And who knows, it may lead to some sex tonight.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all men are guilty.  There are wonderful boyfriends and husbands out there, like Steve, that take the time out to do that extra something.  And no, they're not gay.  Simple acts like...taking out the trash, emptying out the dishwasher, or emptying out the dryer.  Believe me, it means alot to us! 

Mind you, women are guilty as well.  Instead of nagging at your man all the time, realize that he works hard to bring home the bacon and it's okay if he forgets to take out the trash once in awhile, or doesn't offer to help with the housework, or forgets to put down the toilet seat.  Cook him a nice meal or give him a nice back rub.  Heck, go all out and offer him SEX! 

You get the point.

Sometimes it really is the little things you do that can make the difference. 

Thank you, Steve.

My name is ___, and I've got an addiction.

*BING*

If I hear another one of those *bing* sounds, I'm gonna go postal.  Seriously.

No I'm not crazy.  Very close, but not there yet. 

The *bing* sound I'm referring to is the one that comes from Papa in Suburbia's phone.  It is the unmistakeable, most-annoying, I'm-gonna-smash-that-phone-if-you-don't-stop-playing sound that tells me he's playing 'Words with Friends' on his iPhone again.  For those of you that are not familiar with 'Words with Friends', it is an online Scrabble game that you can download to your iPhone or iPad or iTouch or Android phone and play against your friends or anyone that has the application.  It is VERY addicting.  It is definitely not a game to play if you have an addictive, OCD personality.  Case in point...Papa in Suburbia.

Everytime I see him, he has the iPhone in his hands.  And of course, he's playing 'Words'.  It's taken over his life.  It's gotten so bad that even Lil T is constantly asking him, "Baba, are you playing 'Words' again?"  YES, HE IS.  He plays it at home, when we're out, when we're at a restaurant, when we're at a social gathering with friends...pretty much every waking moment.   And sleeping moment, because there are times he's taken the phone to the bedroom and has fallen asleep while playing.  And I'll hear that *bing* in my sleep.  Sure, sometimes he turns the sound off but I know he's playing.  He's got that glazed-over look in his eyes while staring at his phone.  When he's playing, everyone and everything else gets zoned out.   

Don't get me wrong, it's a very fun game.  I've played it several times and can understand how it can be addicting.  But there's a time and place for it.  And to be that addicted to it...it's a problem.  And yes, I know.  At least it's not drugs.  Or alcohol.  Or, or, or...porn.  But still.

I'm thinking about starting a "Help, My Spouse is Hooked on Words" campaign.  Think it will work?  I can't be the only one out there with this problem, right? 

So, what's the solution?  I don't know.  Other than taking the phone and smashing it to pieces...any suggestions?

*BING*